It has been four days since my last stream, what happen you wonder and came to check my blogs? well thanks for checking by!
You see, every week I work from Sunday to Thursday, and have two weekend days. I work 4 days for coding and a day (which is Tuesday) I work on something else like this website or my Arabic youtube channels, or I use it as a backup if I missed one of the working days for any kind of reasons (like this week I am going to code on it). I am trying my best to wake up on the morning and work for 6-8 hours daily on coding, unfortunately it is not that easy with the health issues, that’s why I started to walk (for the millions time) and planning to keep this as part of the schedule, so I will walk every week 3 times as much as my damn feet can carry my big ass.
Last weekend wasn’t that great, I made good progress and wanted to enjoy myself because I rarely do that, what I mean I usually blame myself if I missed up on work or didn’t hit and keep blaming myself for hours every night before I fall asleep, such negative behavior need to be stop, not only that, I am trying to reverse that by congrats myself and enjoy myself every time I do something good, this is not a normal procedure in my life, I usually get blamed and I add more blame on my head all the time wither I done good or not, be perfect or die, it is a serious issue and it ruins life and this is where being negative is bad, don’t get me wrong, you need to be negative to be on guard when you deal with complex stuff and double check your work, it save a lot of time, but you need some red lines too.
So yes the weekend was sucks but I fixed the issue and had good time on Saturday, unfortunately I woke up late at afternoon and extremely tired on Sunday and couldn’t stay work to work. I tried to stay up for an hour so I can do some work so I made some tea and start checking my multimedia websites seeking any business related stuff, after 30 minutes I knew I won’t be able to keep up so decided to sleep for two hours and wake up and try to hit the minimum amount of work which is 3 hours, well … after laying on bed for 4 hours I couldn’t sleep, here it was around 5:30 pm and this bad feeling start to come back and my shity attitude of blaming myself that I am not going to succeed because other people are working 80 hours a week while I am struggling to keep 16-28 a week, and they have a product every half year while most of your time is spent on the bed and blah blah blah … gosh, sometimes I wish if I can shoot that part of my brain that bring all this noise up on every slight slip. So what I could do? Actually I decided because I couldn’t have enough fun for the weekend I will enjoy myself again and watch Start Trek!
To fix my mood on Satarday I decided to give another chance to Star Trek Enterprise, I watched before only like 3-4 episodes and didn’t like it, because at that time I just finished The New Generation and before that I finished Deep Space Nine and both star treks have amazing and unique characters, yes I watched Voyager too and to be honest it wasn’t as half good as those two, the characters and actors were fine but the writing and the story were week from season 2 till the last two seasons, at the last two seasons the old writers have returned and turned the tables and from that moment I start to enjoy Voyager to the max, but it was a short live I fear. The Enterprise … how to put it … at the start … I didn’t like any of the characters even the Captain Jon Archer wasn’t that unique (remember I didn’t give it enough chance, 3 episodes won’t do) so two days ago I gave it another chance and start to see some depth in the characters, was it as good as The New Generation or Deep Space Nine? Hell no! but it was more than enough to enjoy the show. The best thing about it is the show starts where the human advance space exploring started, and they brought a cast (specially Capitan Archer and Commander Trip Tucker) that resemble a very good Americans who achieved their American dreams … no offense, that’s the best way I can see it. I mean I won’t be surprise if they have a holodeck they both would run in the morning in shorts with Archer’s dog with them on the beach … and the way how they see the human way is the best way, and we prefer freedom and should force others to do the better thing to them because freedom … gosh is that an American thing? Or is it possibly there are other cultures that behave like that? Or maybe I watched too many movies that show white Americans like this. Even though I lived in USA for 6 years but I never left that little town, and actually I saw a lot of Americans like that as well, nothing wrong with that description but it seems everything you would say about any culture would be racists in this era.
Anyhow, I didn’t go far, I finished like 7 or 8 episodes only so far and I am sure I will learn much more about the characters and we will see where will that go, people change with experience and exploring, not 100% but they do.
Where were we? Ohh yes, so I didn’t work on Sunday! And slept late and to make it even worst I woke up at afternoon again and extremely tired, I was getting my imaginary gun pointed at my right side of my head waiting when it start blaming and throwing words … but I tried to calm down and work it out, I am extremely tired, it happened again, there is a contest at Sep 22, I have to walk and exercise today, and I can’t move a muscle and I have to code at least 6 hours to keep the minimum hours of the Sunday and Monday. What to do? Try to be perfect and screw up everything and cancel everything because of frustrating? Or try to do what I can do??? So I decided to stay at bed but not to fall asleep tell I can start moving, after around an hour I could move and could focus more, I got up, prepared some hot tea and stared at the tasks list, it was around 1:38, I told myself I will start working at 2 PM, so at 2 PM I made another hot drink, this time coco with tea? Yes that’s something I make sometimes, and start working, after 2 hours I felt tired again, so I took a break for an hour than returned to work for another hour! Done 3 hours, than I prepared myself and went walking! Now I am preparing myself to sleep, couldn’t work anymore, didn’t do the perfect work but hey! I didn’t lose my walk exercise, it is the most prior task after all because if I stop doing it i will highly give up on exercising, and I done the 3 hours instead of falling a victim to my sleep apnea, and I have tomorrow to do 3-6 hours to replace the absent on my first day! So things are going fine! If you wana keep working you need to keep a positive enough attitude, that’s why I am sharing my story with you today.